I look around for a knife. Any will do. I’m hungry so I decided to make myself a sandwich. I find a long, sharp butcher’s knife. Works for me. As I cut the edges off the bread, and smear on some peanut butter, I imagine how happy she will be. Her pretty smiling face, and her eyes wide in wonder, and filled with love. I love her. And she loves me. I know that. And today I make her mine.

I hear footsteps. Fuck. I turn off the light and run into the bathroom. I don’t close the door completely so that I can look out into the bedroom. There is the sound of a key turning in the lock. She’s home. She walks into the bedroom and turns on the light. She seems tired. She closes the blinds and starts to undress. I am fixated. I stare as she takes off her shirt and bra. Her skin is milky white and smooth, her breast round, firm and perfectly shaped. I cannot take my eyes off her as she slips off her skirt. She is beautiful. Perfect. Mine.

She starts walking towards the bathroom. She’s already outside the door before I realize that means me. Shit. She opens the door, and freezes. Her eyes locked on the knife still in my hand. Her eyes widen, but in fear, not in wonder and in them is terror, not love. Her lips open to reveal not a kind smile, but to let out a horrific scream. Fuck, nothing is going according to plan. I can’t think, it’s too much, my brain is freezing up. I wish she would shut up. Her screams fill my head, and now my head hurts. I try to calm her down and explain, but she’s still screaming louder and louder and I can no longer bear the pain. That horrible sound is drowning out everything, my explanations, my thoughts, till my head is just one big hollow echo chamber for that scream. Oh God, please make it stop. I slash out in agony and desperation, not knowing what I’m doing.

Silence. I open my eyes to see my knife lodged in the roof of her mouth. It had cut right through her right cheek. It lay in tatters, the lower part hanging off her face like a bloody flap opening up to reveal flesh and blood and the inside of her mouth. The knife had also cut through her tongue before finally hitting the roof of her mouth. The blood was gushing out in geysers and she started choking on her own blood.

Oh no, not again!

Why did she scream? She loves me. I know she does. She is my one true love, this is our destiny. Or is she? Maybe she doesn’t love me. Maybe she was just using me. Those smiles and friendly gestures. Maybe they were just to lure me into her trap, whore that she is. But why? Why do women do this to me? What do they have against me? Don’t they know how much it hurts? Well, she’ll know.

I free the knife and she falls to the floor in a heap. I can hear the sound of my breathing, the gargle of blood flowing out of her mutilated mouth, and the desperate wheeze of her futile attempts at getting in enough air. I slash. I hack. Slash left. Hack Right. Faster and faster. I work myself into a frenzy. I am no longer in control. Vengeance becomes me. I come to my senses an eternity later crouched over a dirty, bloody mass of flesh. It’s her body. She lies there naked. No longer beautiful. There’s something in my hand. Warm. Squishy. Wet. It’s an eyeball. Her eyeball. I get up and take a look at what I’ve done. She is curled up in a pool of blood, her body disfigured with numerous long, deep, ragged cuts. One eye gouged out. Missing one ear and thee fingers which I find later in my hair. Her left breast literally sliced in half. Her face tore open to reveal only flesh and bones. Her stomach cut open and her gut in a pile on the floor, slimy and wet, stinking of feces and undigested food, some of which was visible as debris floating in the mixture of blood and gastric juice around it. The knife stuck in the top of her head.

My eyes travel across the room. Her blood covers everything. The floor, the walls, the bed, the television, the book rack, the desk, the door, even splattered on the ceiling. I am drenched in blood and covered in body tissue and parts of internal organs.

I slip out the way I came in.

I’m in my car, on the highway, on my way to another city, in another state. In search of my one true love. I’ll find her one day, it is my destiny. But till then, I’ll just have to keep looking.