Munching chips and sipping cola during months of vacations after the board exams I seriously had no idea about how college would feel like. I’ve always had a very rough idea about college from the early days of growing up. Watching the young likes of Aamir Khan, Akshay Kumar and Sunil Shetty flirt with innocent classroom babes and poke fun at the professors, I thought college would be more of a dream. A place where you could walk freely, wear anything, flirt, enjoy spicy samosas and colas, shout out loud, misbehave in the class, get away with pranks and hang out with friends.

Honestly speaking, that was a total fantasy. One week into college I feel like I’ve been tied up to this ugly uncomfortable chair with nails coming out from everywhere hurting my innocent hips. The lecturers never arrive on time and the blackboard is always too messed up to be upto the ‘readable’ mark. The fifty minutes of each lecture sound like someone standing in on a small platform talking French to a class of sixty, all of them have no idea of what the freak of nature is shouting about and still keep nodding our heads in vain.

Even the first day was supposed to arouse sweet memories when I thought they’d made us write a ‘First Day at College’ essay and treat us with sweets and send us home packed with our daily time-tables. Instead we suffered the cheap insults from our gunda-type seniors, insane banned ragging exercies, painful seating, unhygienic mess food, cheap stares from ugly guys and so much more I didn’t care to remember.

Getting used to the hectic schedule seems a pain. The seniors assure us this would only be during the initial good days and then college would smell fun. I can already smell burnt bread pakoras, chalk powder, chemistry labs (just what the heck do those people do inside?!), petrol from bikes and the various brands of perfumes and deodorants.

The best part of college so far has been the glamour we get to experience everyday. So far the week hasn’t been any less than an India Fashion Week show. In fact better! Chicks come in all sizes and shapes dressed up as migratory birds from the hotter regions. They make everyone doubt the very reason why people even dress up. Low waist isn’t just low it’s too low. Tops aren’t just tops they’re middles. They’re not at the top neither do they touch any bottom. They’re just there like a formality. No big deal.

Guys have been really disappointing. We did expect some tapories and sharif species of them at college to hit on us but they seem to be on the other side of the road. So far none of us have been chased, proposed, haunted or stalked. Hope things better soon.